Avinu Malkeinu

Avinu Malkeinu

You hold hope 

before me like

a kiddush cup

brimming with promises like

our lips

on days

like these days 

when we say

Hashiveinu, Adonai 

and we will return

chadesh yamenu

as in days of old

back when our hearts were 

too big to be broken, and

our spines were too strong

for fear.

Nothing is the same now 

that promises have been broken

Nothing is the same now 

that mistakes have been made

nothing 

is the same 

now.

That man over there has a shofar in his hand 

as though it is time to move on, 

as though we know where we are going,

as though someone 

finally 

asked for directions, but

I

am still

wandering. 

You say I stood at Sinai, but

I don’t remember the sound of the shofar

I don’t remember the thunder 

or the lightening

I can’t even remember

the sound 

of Your 

voice.

Ashamnu,

wracked with guilt, and

muted slander

drenched in my deceit,

corrupt and abominable and

hineini,

made in Your image.

You know I love You back.

Avinu Malkeinu,

all I want,

chadesh aleinu,

all I ever 

wanted,

shanah tovah,

is to know 

I am 

remembered.

Avinu Malkeinu,

I put

My life in 

Your hands

because you put all Your hope

in mine

malei yadeinu,

it seems the least,

the very least,

I can do.

Sipped through chapped lips

I can feel the vine 

in my throat as

I beg you 

not to be 

fair.

Avinu Malkeinu,

all I have left

sh’ma koleinu

is silence.